It's been a tough week for old Mr Joe. Two emergency room visits, bladder spasms, catheters. Blah.
Worse, I was worrying about these silly pictures in my head of things that might happen to my body as I walk this walk. What if i have to wear a catheter for the rest of my life? And so forth. And of course I realized that if I focus on these distractions, I lose focus on what matters.
“During the 4th watch of the night Jesus went out to them walking on the Lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “it's a ghost” they said and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them “take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid.” “Lord, if it's you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” He said.
Then Peter got out of the boat walking on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14: 25- 31 NIV
This is the test. Unfortunately, even saved people can be tested and can falter. We must remember who Peter was. The rock upon which the assembly of believers is built. But with human weaknesses, like fear, pride, and doubt. In the end he was martyred; crucified for Jesus.
I am reminding myself as I write this that the devil is trying to distract me with the winds of life in the flesh. That's all this is. And Yahweh is letting him do it to see if I remember him even when the pain is intense and especially when plans I planned are thwarted.
I am convinced that the focus is critical. Having to deal all the time with bodily functions is a diversion. They take focus away from my duties as a servant and away from the Lord I serve. No matter what happens, I am certain, God will show me the path, either to greater service or to the cross. Fear is a strong temptation. I have to focus on him to master it. Pain as well. Yesterday, on a cot in the emergency room moaning like a woman in labor, (sadly, I can be wimpy at times) unable to relieve myself, I realized the devil was the author of my anguish because he wants us to look at him. But he has no salve for our pain, our loss, our grief; none.
“If this happens or that happens my life will be meaningless. I won't go on.” Rubbish!
This is where we sink. This is where we cry in fear. In the first place these pictures in our heads may not ever happen. Rarely do they happen the way we thought or pictured them.
Second, as with Peter, Jesus is here. When we cry out “Lord, save me!” he will reach out and set us back in the boat. The flesh might die, but he has us in spirit and he will never lose us. Amen. John 6: 38- 40.
So, the test is not to lose focus on Him because the devil sends winds to distract us; No matter how harsh the winds. We must keep walking the walk. Always remembering we are spirits. The body is a tool, an instrument. God will show us a way to serve him if we can be open to it. He will provide for loved ones when we are gone from this place he has been suffering us to dwell in. We don't need anything that we can't take with us. When we have fulfilled His purposes for our lives, he will bring us home to him. Amen.
So, if you pray for me please pray that I do not lose focus no matter what happens to my body, or any other things that might happen. Pray that I not waste time revisiting decisions I chose in the past or visualizing possible outcomes in the future. I have enough to do in this world today.
Peace and blessings.
About a month ago I had 2 falls in a 2 day period. I could not get up and had to call the fire department for help. It was a sobering realization that my body really could not do the things I thought would be with me. Neuropathy has done great nerve damage and my balance is not so good. While laying on my kitch floor I realized I was going to have to accept fully my furture was totally in Gods hands, it was time to surrender my will. God has suppied my needs. He never left out a thing. I am more humble and see more clearly each day things are in his hands not mine. Thank you Jesus.